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July 08, 2008 05:44 PM

Regretting the purchase of 57 boxes of pizza rollz.

July 08, 2008 09:00 AM

I put lots of thought into what I'd eat for 30 days of e-mailing and IMing.  The winner? Pizza rollz. There's fat, protein, carbs, and what's more important, they're completely self-contained food units.

I had second thoughts about my decision on day one, pizza roll one. I followed the microwave instructions (offline for three minutes, incidentally), ran back to my desk, and popped one in my mouth. Big mistake. I bit through the crispy, crusty capsule of joy and out came searing hot (though delicious) magma. My eyes watered. I opened my mouth and panted, trying to cool the molten contents in my mouth. I think I heard sizzling. Maybe not.

But to put it all into perspective, a sore tongue and a limited diet are small prices to pay for thorough karma recalibration. And it's not like I'm the only one making sacrifices-Microsoft is dishing out bundles of cash to the 10 causes involved in the i'm Initiative, and I'm just sitting around e-mailing and IMing.

So I learned a lesson to say the least. But, I also learned that nothing takes the sting out of a burnt tongue better than a still-frozen pizza roll. It fits just right in there, plus you get to eat it when it thaws. Sometimes I also put a frozen one over each eye-it's kind of like a spa thing with the cucumber slices, totally cools and refreshes you.

Got any creative uses for pizza rollz you'd like to share?  Join the i'm Initiative and send me your recipes. L8R.

Pizza Boxes

 

Disclaimer:

If you’re reading this, your BS detector is chirping like a smoke detector with a dicey 9-volt. As you’ve probably guessed, this blog is fictional, but the causes, and the i’m Initiative most certainly are not. The purpose of this blog is to raise awareness of the i’m Initiative and the worthy causes it helps. If we rubbed you the wrong way in the process that wasn’t our intention, so “sorry, our bad.” The alternate was something called an “e-mail blast.” But, believe us that’s not nearly as exciting as it sounds. A herd of well-compensated legal professionals in Redmond, Washington, says we also need to tell you something:

The Parker Whittle character depicted herein is fictitious and his activities are described for illustrative purposes only.

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